Queen: the female ruler of an independent state, especially one who inherits the position by right of birth. Also, a woman or thing regarded as excellent or outstanding of its kind.
Goddess: a female god or deity. Also, a women who is adored especially for her beauty.
Feminist: A person who believes in the social political and economic quality of the sexes.
Just moments before I write this, I’m staring at my living room table full of makeup and beauty products galore. This is my vanity area where I not only work on my business, but on my face as well. I look out my window, a breathtaking view overlooking the beautiful city of waikiki accentuated by the glistening pacific ocean. I sip my morning tonic as I cover every blemish with promising foundations, paint my eyebrows where needed, and curl my lashes to the max. I love this part of my morning routine, where I make myself up and serve face. But I could easily do without, and I would still be the same person, just more exposed.
I guess we do things for approval in a sense that we seek acceptance in various forms, whether it’s superficial or for power. When one thinks of a queen the first thing that comes to mind for most is that of a ruler or the wife of a ruler. What does one think of a goddess? A goddess is one step up right ? A non human spirit of the heavens who is a ruler of love, the sky, the sea, fire, wisdom etc. Many goddesses are praised for their abilities to persuade their animate or inanimate entities. But what’s a Queen to a goddess?
More then ever we have been exposed to both of these titles in reference to women, the former over the latter. Human beings, regardless of gender have been reared and nurtured by a woman. Women are very powerful beings. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie mentions in her book ‘We Should All Be Feminists’ “We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls ‘you can have ambition but not too much. You should aim to be successful but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man.”
When we think of those who are higher up then us and are praised for their power, I feel like we lose a little piece of ourselves, because we feel as though we can never reach that level of status or power. I am not saying you or anyone is or should feel intimidated by this other being, but that you should honor your self and your goals and your true wants.
Honor your passion
Chimamanda goes on to say “we raise girls to see each other as competitors – not for jobs or accomplishments, which in my opinion can be a good thing, but for the attention of men.”
I must admit that at times I have done things solely for the attention of men. I have also done many things to alter my appearance for my own happiness, and I am happy that I can do those things which make me feel amazing. I then think to another book in which I am halfway through reading, titled ‘The Beauty Myth.’ It discusses the roles that celebrities and influential figures have to influence our thoughts of what beauty should be. The book analyzes the trends of not only fashion but also makeup and procedures through the years. It points out studies that show how pop culture promoted breast augmentations and very thin appearances. Something I can relate to. I remember when everyone around me was getting breast implants, and I was intensely against it. But I noticed that my friends looked amazing and their confidence grew so high. Four years later, I lay on the surgery table, waking up confused as to where I was due to the after affects of anesthesia. Alas, I had beautiful breasts that emulated a natural size, making my body equivalent to that of my childhood role model, Barbie.
Now I was perfect. So I thought. Until the next thing came up that I wanted to fix. Full body laser hair removal, so I could have perfect skin and never have to shave. Then I would dye my hair each month, and eat as perfect as possible, and I was dedicated to the gym, and did every face mask I could make. The list goes on! Madness. I’m not here to bore you with my beauty routines, yet I want you to know that you are enough.
As long as we are here on earth, we’ll never be a true goddess of the heavens. Most of us will never be a queen of our countries. What does any of that matter because in your eyes, you can totally be your own goddess or queen. You can honor yourself as such, and if you want to alter your appearance for yourself, go ahead. It’s only your life, so choose how you want to live it. Wear the clothes you love, and decorate your space as you wish. Surround yourself with uplifting people and remember the sisterhood. If men are not uplifting us, it’s okay. We must uplift ourselves, and encourage men to uplift us as well. Also, we must uplift men because without them we would not be here either, as it takes a female and male to reproduce.
In writing this, I am inspired to reach out to women and help them as much as possible. I have formed my own non profit, ‘Women of Substance Foundation,’ and I am just waiting for it to be finalized so I can start sharing the events and fundraisers we will have to support women and give them the skills to reach their highest aspirations. Please subscribe to this blog if you have not already and stay tuned for the ability to help women as well.
Much love and Aloha,
Recommended Readings :
“I am graceful and loving and radiate inner beauty.”
“I am poised and present.”
“I am wise and willing.”
“I am inspired and open to continually expanding.”
“I am in service and fulfilled and rewarded.”
Thank you, I love myself, which is ultimately all else.
*Currently STILL listening to Kali Uchis
Photography by Andrew Tran @weerdnaa IG
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